Ode to the Unemployed Husband

Okay, so Teddy isn't technically unemployed, but he's been home all week because he doesn't start his new job until Monday. Those that know Teddy know that he doesn't really take time off from work. It can be pretty annoying.

Well, it's been a little bit like watching a monkey use tools this week because he is exhibiting as-yet unseen behavior. Here are a few observations of the unemployed-Teddy species:

• He calls me 4-5 times a day and says things like, "Well, talk to me for a minute..." Our conversations usually go something like this: [phone rings] Me: "Hello?" Teddy: "What's up?" Me: "You called me" Teddy: "Oh, yeah... [insert random story here]"
• He sleeps on the couch with the TV on until 4am
• He goes grocery shopping in the middle of the day and calls to find out if I want extra mushrooms on my pizza
• I get minute-by-minute updates of everything going on at home while I'm not there
• He cooked something on Tuesday night and used seashell pasta, yes, seashell pasta
• Ballpark estimates are no longer acceptable responses to the question, "What time will you be home?"

Needless to say, I am thrilled for Teddy AND my Sprint bill that he starts work on Monday.