Twilight hysteria + WalMart = Hilariously bad story

I am not embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed the Twilight books. Okay, that's a lie, I $#%&@!^ loved the Twilight books. There, I said it. The movie was *cough* DUMB *cough* but it was based on the books and involved staring at Robert Pattinson for 2 hours so it got a free pass. I loosely paid attention to the promotion leading up to the DVD release (DVD release parties, really?) and my curiosity was piqued. An equally cynical friend and I decided to venture to our local WalMart (what could be more embarrassing than actually going to a Twilight DVD release party, you ask? Going to a Twilight DVD release party at a FUCKING WALMART).

We were not disappointed.

When we arrived at the store I was feeling a bit let down - I was hoping for some serious Star Trek-style freaks lurking around waiting for the Electronics personnel to bring out the trough of DVDs. At first, I thought the whole thing was a huge bust. Until we rounded the corner.

HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE, ALL AGES, WAITING IN LINE. BAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, this really happened, I saw it. My friend and I burst out into inappropriate amounts of laughter and ducked into an aisle to compose ourselves. "Decode" by Paramore was blasting through the TVs and a countdown was being chanted by the crowd. It was amazing.

Some random highlights:

• Woman in the 30-45 demographic carrying a canvas Twilight bag and wearing sweatpants
• "Team Edward" t-shirts
• An overweight couple purchasing the following items: Twilight DVD, cereal, milk
• WalMart personnel enforcing the one-DVD-per-family limit (seriously? YES)

Thought: I'm not really sure why anyone would waste their time with the movie had they not read the books - maybe, but not likely. If this is the case, I am astonished at the number of WalMart shoppers that evidently know how to read. Hmmm...